The ones where a couple happily dusts, folds, and sparkles through their perfectly curated home?
Yeah… we don’t do that.
Because in our house, the husband is affectionately referred to as “the Collector.”
And by “collector with hording tendencies,” I mean he has a *very special relationship* with every single piece of paper, empty pie pan, screw and nail and “maybe I’ll use this someday” item known to humankind.
Step One: Acceptance
The first rule of cleaning with a collector?
Accept that some things will never be thrown away. Ever.
Boxes of old camping gear? Check. Random screws from projects that ended in 1985? Check.
And yes, somewhere in there is a lone sock that has been missing its partner since 2015, but we might find the other.
Step Two: Strategic Zones
I’ve learned to clean in zones:
- Zone 1: Kid chaos — easiest to conquer.
- Zone 2: Animal chaos — beware the pig’s path.
- Zone 3: Collector chaos — approach with caution, wait until he is out of town and rent a trailer.
Zone 3 requires diplomacy. Questions like “Can we donate this?” are met with suspicious looks and long-winded explanations about potential usefulness and the length of time they have been together. Some items are even named, like “Chestnut Boy” the brown sweater with moth holes.
Step Three: Grace
This is where the grace comes in.
Sometimes cleaning isn’t about perfection — it’s about finding enough space to move, sleep, and live happily.
I’ve realized I can either argue, get frustrated, or…laugh, take a deep breath, and gently relocate the random pile to a “temporary” zone.
Chaos + grace. That’s our house motto — even if it’s mostly chaos.
Final Thoughts
Cleaning with a collector is a skill, a test of patience, and a comedy show all in one.
The house may never be perfect.
The desk may always be partially covered in “treasures.”
But the love, laughter, and life in our home? Absolutely intact.
Chaos exists. Grace remains. And sometimes you just have to step over a sock to get there.